One of the most persistent myths in residential real estate is that consumers drift away from their agents because they have “moved on” or “forgotten” who represented them. But the numbers tell a very different story.
More than 80% of buyers and sellers say they would use their agent again, yet fewer than 20% actually do. That gap is not a marketing problem. It is not a technology problem. It is a relationship problem, and it is one we created ourselves. It’s basically the real estate equivalent of searching everywhere for your glasses while they are sitting on top of your head.
As an industry, we have been trained to chase new leads with the focus and stamina of Olympic athletes. We can convert cold strangers on the internet but somehow struggle to stay connected to the people who already know, like and trust us.
One of the clearest explanations for this comes from Stephen R. Covey, who popularized the idea of the Emotional Bank Account in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” When we have not made regular deposits, meaning thoughtful, human, zero-agenda touchpoints, reaching out starts to feel about as natural as attending a high school reunion for a school you did not even go to. The longer we wait, the more overdrawn that account feels and the more we avoid contact altogether.
Here is the strategic truth: Long-term success in this business is built not on prospecting intensity but on relationship depth. The agents who consistently win are the ones who remove friction from staying in touch. They do not rely on perfect scripts, clever hooks or contrived excuses to call someone. They treat connection like brushing their teeth, something you just do regularly so things do not fall apart in horrifying ways.
Reengagement does not require theatrics. It requires presence.
At a strategic level, there are three types of outreach that strengthen client relationships without feeling transactional or self-serving:
- Human connection without agenda
Most people rarely experience a genuine, agenda-free conversation in their daily life. When a former client hears from their agent with no pitch, no referral ask and no hint that you are circling the block hoping to list their neighbor’s house, it resets the relationship. It is like getting a text from someone who is not trying to sell you vitamins, recruit you into a mastermind or inform you that your car warranty is moments away from collapse. It feels human. It signals that you see them as people, not past commissions.
- Milestone recognition
Anniversaries of meaningful purchases matter. When someone marks another year in their home, they are not just celebrating square footage. They are celebrating the messy, wonderful, chaotic life that unfolded inside it. Recognizing that moment communicates partnership, not pursuit. Think of it like remembering a friend’s birthday without Facebook prompting you. It communicates care, and it reinforces your long-term role in their real estate story. Bonus: You look organized even if you currently have three unread calendars and a to-do list written on the back of a grocery receipt.
- Insight and interpretation
Consumers are drowning in real estate headlines but somehow still thirsty for clarity. Market conditions shift constantly, much like airline departure times or your favorite brunch spot that never opens when it says it will. Offering genuine insight rather than hype elevates you from salesperson to trusted advisor. You become the person who helps them make sense of the noise, not add to it. When people trust your interpretation of the market, they trust you with their next move.
These types of touchpoints are not scripts. They are leadership behaviors. They build credibility, familiarity and emotional safety. They transform you from a past participant in your clients’ lives into an ongoing professional presence, the same way that barista who knows your order becomes part of your week without you ever officially acknowledging them in your holiday card.
The irony is that staying top of mind does not require volume. It requires intentionality. A handful of thoughtful, low-pressure connections each year can outperform thousands of dollars in online lead spend, and they create a business that is sustainable, predictable and far more enjoyable than speed dating every internet lead who filled out a form at 2 a.m.
If agents simply prioritized nurturing the relationships they already have, their biggest business challenges would evaporate. They would spend less time hunting, more time serving, and their future production would come from the people who already believe in them.
The path to repeat and referral business is not complicated. It is simply human. And the emotional bank account, no matter how long it has been neglected, is always open for deposits. If you can remember to keep a houseplant alive for more than 10 days, you can remember to stay in touch with your past clients.
Keith Robinson is the co-CEO of NextHome Inc.